Sleep

He fell asleep with his hand next to his face today like he did when he was in the womb. It was a sweet reminder that he is still my baby. I’m between “don’t grow up” and “grow up so we can do fun activities” daily. He seems to be growing up too fast though. But him falling asleep with his hand right next to his face like he did when I was growing him was just incredible. It was a reminder that he is still little, he is still helpless, he is still in my care, he is still my everything. When he was in the womb he would keep his hands next to his face and his face buried in my hip bone. He liked to cuddle and still does. It’s becoming less and less of a thing though. He is becoming more independent and more active, which I love and hate simultaneously. When he was in the womb I was his sole protector. What I put into my body and on my body had everything to do with him. I wanted him to be as healthy and comfortable as possible. My needs and wants suddenly didn’t matter anymore. They still don’t, but as he becomes more independent I am able to do things more for me again.

Today though reminded me that even though he isn’t inside of me anymore, he is still my baby.

While I can still hold him I will. There is something about that sweet time staring at him with his little hand next to his face that just makes me weak. I’ve been looking at him doing that for 29 months. I pray for 29 more months times 7 that I get to see him fall asleep with his hand next to his sweet little face. He is a blessing and a joy I never knew I needed. I’m thankful for these small reminders that he is still little and he still needs me.

**when I say sole protector, I know God’s hand was in this through it all. I just mean I had the say over what I ate, put onto my body, how I slept, etc. Jus to clarify. I don’t take for granted what God did for us through the pregnancy and what He continues to do for us.

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